Thanksgiving host bans her sister from bringing her disgusting homemade dishes to Thanksgiving dinner, family tells her she's being unreasonable: 'I’m just trying to keep the meal enjoyable and, frankly, edible'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Nov 4, 2024 8:00 PM EST

You can't have Thanksgiving dinner with just anybody. My family learned that when we decided to share the meal with the family of one of my grade school friends, Elise. We were new in town and didn't have family in the area, so over the years, we decided to combine our Thanksgiving with another family with a similar background. We usually stuck to families we were close with, but our first year was a total bust. I do not remember this, but according to my parents, it was the worst Turkey they had ever eaten. All of the families brought a dish, and basically, none of them were edible. That's what you get for going to the girl who you saw eating a piece of notebook paper in the hallway's family Thanksgiving. 

A Thanksgiving meal with all sour dishes is a disappointment, but what about just 1-3 bad meals from a creatively well-intentioned cook in your family? The host of her family's Thanksgiving took to Reddit to field that question.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10424402432
    via Karolina Grabowska (Unsplash+)
  • 02
    AITA for telling my sister she's not allowed to bring her homemade food to Thanksgiving because her cooking is ruining the meal?
    via u/SocietyTiny784
  • 03
    Every year, our family does a big Thanksgiving dinner, and we all typically bring a dish or two. My sister, who's a lovely person in every other way, insists on cooking something homemade every time. The issue? She's... not a great cook. And I don't mean just "not great"-I mean she has somehow managed to turn classic dishes into borderline inedible creations.
    via u/SocietyTiny784
  • 04
    For context, last Thanksgiving, she showed up with her "special recipe" stuffing that was over-seasoned with random spices like cinnamon and cardamom. It was dry, and the flavors were confusing and totally off for stuffing. Only one person took a small bite, and the rest went untouched. Another year, she brought a green bean casserole that had some kind of strange, chewy texture—she later admitted she used coconut milk and almond flour "to experiment." No one wanted seconds of that, either.
    via u/SocietyTiny784
  • 05
    This year, I'm hosting Thanksgiving. Since I'm responsible for putting it all together, I wanted to keep the menu consistent so that people could actually enjoy a cohesive meal. I thought I'd avoid drama by asking her to bring non-food items instead-like wine, soda, or even some flowers. I explained to her (very kindly, I thought) that I just wanted to make things easy and streamlined, and I'd handle the main dishes. But she didn't take it well.
    via u/SocietyTiny784
  • 06
    She got offended and told me I was being "controlling" and "shutting her out" of the family gathering. She then accused me of making her feel inadequate and said that Thanksgiving is about everyone contributing, not me deciding what's "acceptable." I told her that everyone appreciates her effort, but that she could contribute in other ways and still be part of it. She doubled down and said she's bringing her "famous" green bean casserole whether I like it or not.
    via u/SocietyTiny784
  • 07
    Now, my mom and a couple of other family members have chimed in, saying I should just let her bring whatever she wants because "it's Thanksgiving" and "it's the thought that counts." They're acting like I'm committing some huge offense by wanting the food to be enjoyable for everyone and not have random experimental dishes that no one will eat.
    via u/SocietyTiny784
  • 08
    But I feel like I'm just trying to keep the meal enjoyable and, frankly, edible. I don't think it's wrong to want guests to actually enjoy the food, especially since I'm putting in a lot of effort to host. Am I really being unreasonable here? AITA?
    via u/SocietyTiny784
  • 09
    Rowana133 ⚫18h ago • Top 10% Commenter Just let her bring the green bean casserole and make an actually edible one as backup. It's not worth it to die on this hill.
    via u/Rowana133
  • 10
    bunker_man Yeah. Like, if people don't like it they don't have to eat it?
    via u/bunker_man
  • 11
    The_Death_Flower Also, what's more important, a «< cohesive meal a harmonious, tension-free family gathering? >> or
    via u/The_Death_Flower
  • 12
    FunSprinkles8 No no no, people HAVE to eat it. At least... that seems to be OP's logic? OP, YTA. Just let her bring her dish and if no one eats it, they don't eat it. Only children think a meal is ruined if they don't like one small part of it (that they don't have to eat).
    via u/FunSprinkles8
  • 13
    ececacademic INFO: how does your sister react when no one eats her food? If she reacts poorly, tries to push people to try or have seconds and is generally a sourpuss about it, then I think suggesting she take control of wines/crisps/non-baked goods is sensible.
    via u/ececacademic
  • 14
    But if she doesn't comment or make a big deal, then it really doesn't sound like her cooking badly does any harm. No one eats it, she feels like she's contributed, and all it takes is throwing away the food at the end. Minimal hassle for a peaceful holiday that everyone enjoys.
    via u/ececacademic
  • 15
    My brother can't cook, but it's tradition that everyone brings something. We just make sure that he's not the only one bringing that type of dish. If he's on potatoes, trust me, at least one other person is as well. Two types of potatoes never hurts anyone, and it solves the issue when he doubtlessly brings something else so unappealingly inedible that most refuse to try it (now, we used to try).
    via u/ececacademic
  • 16
    shackndon2020 Rather than throw it away, it would be better to cover the dish and send it home with her. At least it won't be wasted, as she seems to like it. She might also actually realise that nobody else likes it.
    via u/shackndon2020
  • 17
    Mindless-Platypus448 OP said in another comment that she pushes people to try her "gormet" food and complains that no one appreciates her creativity. OP also said that she was trying to avoid everyone being forced to try something they know is disgusting or to come up with excuses to avoid eating it.
    via u/Mindless-Platypus448
  • 18
    I wish OP would say whether the sister eats her own horrible concoctions. That would be interesting to know. Apparently, she's been "perfecting" her recipes for years, and they just get worse every year. Oh, and they said she doesn't just bring one dish. She usually brings several.
    via u/SocietyTiny784
  • 19
    I get everyone saying to just let her bring it to feel included, but I also feel like it gets to a point where you just don't want to deal with the awkwardness. Im agree with your point that if she didn't make things awkward, then let her bring whatever. But since she pushes people and just doesn't get it, I understand why OP would want to not have to deal with it this year.
    via u/SocietyTiny784
  • 20
    Natural_War1261 Let her bring it. Maybe she's been practicing and it's good. If not, maybe she'll get the hint.
    via u/SocietyTiny784
  • 21
    ParkingOutside6500 Let her do it. Her bad cooking is a tradition. Just make another vegetable that people WILL eat.
    via u/SocietyTiny784
  • 22
    UPDATE: Alright, well, things have escalated fast. Thanks to everyone who offered advice-I tried to compromise, but it's already turning into a whole thing, and Thanksgiving is still a few weeks away.
    via u/SocietyTiny784
  • 23
    After our last conversation, my sister was being pretty cagey about what she planned to make, so I reached out to my mom, hoping she could help smooth things over. Instead, she got defensive, saying I'm "overthinking" and that it's just one dish. I told her I wasn't sure it was just one dish anymore, especially after hearing about my sister's grocery haul (including canned oysters and edible glitter).
    via u/SocietyTiny784
  • 24
    Then my mom let slip that my sister has been "hard at work" on some "creative menu" she's planning as her "Thanksgiving surprise." Apparently, she's been telling the family group chat (which I wasn't included in, by the way) that I'm being "controlling" and that she wants to "expand everyone's palate" with something "truly unique."
    via u/SocietyTiny784
  • 25
    To top it off, my cousin sent me a screenshot from the group chat where my sister said she's bringing not one but three dishes to Thanksgiving now. She's calling them her "Thanksgiving Trio Experience," complete with their own place settings and little menu cards she's designing. I'm officially panicking because I have no idea what she's planning to serve, and from what I've heard, it's not remotely traditional.
    via u/SocietyTiny784
  • 26
    At this point, half the family thinks I'm overreacting, while the other half is texting me with things like, "Is she really bringing glittered sweet potatoes?" I feel stuck—if I try to control it any more, I'm the bad guy, but if I don't, Thanksgiving might turn into a tasting event for my sister's avant-garde cooking. So yeah, Thanksgiving is weeks away, and it's already become a family spectacle. I don't know whether to brace myself or just preemptively order pizza.
    via u/SocietyTiny784

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family drama cook cooking thanksgiving meal sisters siblings cursed food reddit story dinner gross food family food sister family dinner reddit thread Reddit
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